The Prince is gone...
Time for the
Queen to Rise!
FINDING YOUR WAY WHEN THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS OVER
FINDING YOUR WAY WHEN THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS OVER
Your relationship is over.
Something you thought was rock solid has crumbled, and your world crumbled with it. Every breath you take is painful. Sometimes you wake up in the morning and feel good for a moment, until you remember...
Sweetheart, you will get through this!
You will survive, and, eventually, you will thrive.
And you will discover that what happened truly is for you.
I know you are not there yet, but something in you wants to believe me.
Right now, what you depended on, and maybe what you were dependant on, is gone.
You love him, you really do.
But a little part of you knows that you weren't all you could be in this relationship.
Who you were is shattered, the wife, the partner, the lover. But the masks are also gone. The compliancies, the compromises, the niceness, the fitting in, the conforming, the norm, the nice girl, the tough girl...
What is left is what was always there but has been hidden maybe your whole life.
What makes you YOU
You can't run from yourself any longer. You have no choice but to feel, which is so powerful!
It is also a great gift.
My work is to inspire and guide women to be free. Of circumstances, of the opinions of others, and of their own drama, so that they can be and express who they are.
The crises you are in right now is such a gift. It strips away the pretence and it wakes you up. Your relationship ending can be the birth of a self-determined, fulfilled, courageous woman standing fully in her power, and brightly shining her light.
We are the women the Dalai Lama spoke about when he said that the world will be saved by the Western Woman. It is time that we become brave, compassionate, conscious and joyful leaders who act in an ethical way that benefits all.
Heal your emotions and create strong, healthy habits
All you can think about is that he is gone. You don't know what to do. You miss him so much. Yes, you need to get through this, but you don't know how...
Develop the mindset of a Queen, get clear and take action
Yes, your relationship is over. But you are slowly ready to make the best of this, and to get crystal clear on who you have become, and where to go from here.
After many many years of soul searching, meditation, yoga, workshops, healthy food, journaling and lots and lots of books on every esoteric topic imaginable, one little thing still trips me up:
Of myself, and also of others.
Particularly men. Most particularly my ex. We share a daughter, so there is no escaping. We also share a property, which often feels like complete lunacy.
And after 17 years I still have the same expectations of him I had a year into the relationship. To me, what I am expecting is nothing special or extraordinary, just ‘normal’ behavior. To him, it is not part of his world.
What so astonishes me (apart from the fact that another person can have such an obviously distorted view of life), is that I do not seem to be able to let go of these expectations.
And yet, I sit there every day in my work as a healer and coach, and tell people to let go. And I say it with conviction, because I know it is the right thing to do, and I can see clearly where they are standing in their own way.
I am going to preach something now that I didn’t live. At least not at first.
If your relationship is over, and if you WANT to feel better than you do right now, do NOT contact your ex.
No phone calls, no texts. No obsessively checking his Facebook page or stalking him on other social media channels.
And no accessing his email or private messages, even if you know his password (btw, that he hasn’t changed it yet is not a sign that he wants you to know what’s going on).
Because every time you do any of these things, you feel worse.
DARLING, IT IS HURTING YOU.
If you truly are meant to be together, it is going to happen. Trust.
And remember the way we are wired as humans.
We value what is elusive and difficult to obtain.
Right now, things are difficult for you. You are in pain, worried, overwhelmed. And you want it to all just go back to the way it was.
Which would (maybe...) be great. But it is very unlikely that it will happen.
If you like it or not, it is up to you to help you feel better. Nobody will come and save you.
It rained through all of Saturday night, and now autumn is here! Can't wait to wear jeans and sweaters, can't wait to be cold :-). Ex-man went camping over the weekend, and I felt so much better.
Relaxed, peaceful and calm, and no parts of me in his space.
I want it honest, I want it raw, I want it beautiful, not because it is aesthetically pleasing, but because it is true.
Resonating. Touching with the realization that some truths are the same for all of us, no matter what we look like on the outside. We all have to deal with life being unpredictable.
Every once in a while, you meet somebody who inspires you continuously through fully and authentically being who they are.
Jutta Dobler is one such an amazing person, and a source of great inspiration and strength for my life. Besides that, she is a brilliant teacher, coach and healer.
I am blessed to know her!
Thank you Jutta, for being who you are.