Hey sweets

Today, let’s have a look at why we sabotage ourselves.

You probably know what I’m talking about: You have been eating healthily and exercising for 3 weeks, and you’re starting to see the first results. And then you have a totally ‘blah’ day, and you decide that just this once you deserve some chips, and some chocolate, and to wash it all down with wine.

The next day, you feel like a failure, like ‘It’s too late anyway now’ and you stop your new routine.

You know you want to change. You have been on your way! So WHY did you do that? And how can you stop doing it?

There are a lot of different things I could write about around this topic.

You might sabotage yourself because you run into an internal ‘upper limit’. Meaning you can allow it to get this good, but please no further. An upper limit is like a thermostat that is set at a specific temperature. If the room temperature gets too far off the set mark, the thermostat activates the heating or the air conditioning until the temperature is once again within the desired margin. We do the same with our ‘set’ (aka accustomed to) feelings of wellbeing or deservedness.

Or maybe you sabotage yourself because you are afraid to succeed.

Or you fear that you won’t have anything else to thrive for anymore once you have succeeded.

You might also fear that you are not good enough. If you secretly believe that you don’t have what it takes, going all in is dangerous. By not giving it all you’ve got, you can always pretend that you could have succeeded if you had done more…

There is the fear of alienating your nearest and dearest when you change.

Or you believe that you don’t truly deserve to be, do and have all you want.

It could be that you only look at the short term and the uncomfortability (is that a word? It should be one!) of doing the work in the moment, and not staying connected to the big picture.

Or you just dream of the big picture, without acknowledging your daily wins that make it exciting to keep going in a down-to-earth way.

But, in my opinion, what it ultimately comes down to is that everything has rhythms.

Your emotions, your physical body, your clarity of thinking…

Some days you’re upbeat and fit and clear, and then, seemingly out of the blue, you wake up and it’s one of ‘those’ days. 

You’re sluggish, you’re unmotivated, you feel inexplicably sad, you’re tired…

This is just how it is!

Your bio rhythm goes up and down.

Your emotions go up and down.

Energy moves in waves.

Everything moves in waves.

This is totally normal. AND it doesnt mean that you can’t do the daily work because the wave is at it’s low point.

To spell this out: It doesn’t matter how you feel, you can do what needs to be done anyway!

I know that this is not a very popular thing to say. 

Yes, it is important to listen to yourself, to be loving and to practice selfcare.

But face it, if you want to create a different life, you have to CREATE a different life.

You have to commit to taking aligned action.

Actions born out of showing up daily for who you know you really are, within.

The creative. The writer. The world changer. The healer. The lightworker.

There is no pro sports person on the planet who only trains when she feels like it.

There is no writer who has published more than one book who only writes when he feels like it.

There is no mom who only looks after her kids when it feels good.

Your art requires your commitment!

And if you’re not willing to give that, you might as well stop kidding yourself now, and go back to a ‘normal’ life…

So, what to do when you have realize that you’re sabotaging yourself?

Firstly:

Be loving!

Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t blame, guilt-trip, hate, shame.

Instead, be curious: ‘How come I made such an interesting choice?’ 

Detach from it. Don’t get hung up. Accept it, and then let it go and continue down the road you know you want to be on!

So basically do not go into DRAMA!

No, failing once doesn’t mean that you’re a failure.

It also doesn’t mean that you ‘can’t do it anyway’, ‘it’s all too hard’, and ‘I guess I’m not meant for it after all’. 

You know what you are meant for!

So persevere!

Do the work anyway, and by all means, do it badly on the days where nothing flows.

You can’t only practice or do your craft when you’re in the mood. That’s the stuff of amateurs. 

Get over yourself, and show up for what you know you’re here to do, every single day.

Give yourself a time-out if you truly need it. Enjoy the heck out of it!

And then enjoy getting back to doing your work, to follow your Calling.

You’ll be so glad you did.