Like for all of us, the twisted path I walked on in my (many :) ) years on earth makes a lot more sense in hindsight.
This is a really good thing, because it makes it possible to dissect one's Calling from one's life story.
Which is part of the work I do.
But before we go further into this, let’s rewind a bit.
Until the end of my twenties, I lived in Munich and worked as an artist, a photographer and a writer. I was extremely introverted and spent a lot of time alone.
It was a time of exploration both on the outside and within.
I was fascinated by spirituality and meditation, studied Zen with a Japanese master, went to the Ramtha school of enlightenment, became a student of Bashar's, and travelled all over the world in the process.
I also had art exhibitions, published two books, and took plenty of pictures of other artists, actors and musicians.
Since none of this paid, I earned money being a waitress, and through the occasional commercial photoshoot.
While this sounds rather cool when I write it like this, the reality was that I was on a constant search. I knew there was more to life than I could grasp.
I also knew, both theoretically and instinctively, that I create my own reality.
And while that kind of worked in practice, it often felt clunky and difficult.
Which I was certain was not the way it’s supposed to be!
With 28, I was asked to help to do a movie about diamond divers in namibia.
In the four months I was there, I fell in love with the vast, empty, silent Namib desert, and the Namibian people.
Being back in Germany didn’t feel right anymore, and I knew that I wanted to move to Africa, NOW!
This was the first time I consciously experienced my own power!
I was shy, I had a phone phobia, I didn’t like asking people for favours, but none of this mattered.
Within a week, I had organized 18 commissions for articles about Namibia, without ever having written an article before, and I had persuaded LTU to fly me in exchange for a photo shoot.
All in all, it took 14 days from making a ‘no matter what’ decision to creating the means to go, clearing out my apartment, giving most of my stuff away, and boarding a plane to Windhoek.
I was fascinated by this experience. this clearly was me, powerfully creating my reality!
And yet it also felt nearly impersonal. There was a lot of very clear, straightforward, just-do-it kind of action involved. I was like an arrow that shot towards a target, and none of my hang-ups had a chance to interfere.
What had happened? How had I managed to ignore all my fears?
How did I make my dream come true so quickly and smoothly?
And why couldn’t I replicate this experience more easily afterwards?
What I found became the basis of my work as a healer and coach for Uplifters and Creatives. It fascinates me to this day!
And it helped me to build a life in Namibia. To fall in love, to have a daughter, and to create a thriving healing and coaching practice.
I spent nearly 20 years in Africa. When Eva was 14, she decided that she wants to go to school in Europe. Her dad and I were separated by then, and I too felt the pull of a new adventure.
4 years ago, we moved to Germany and started fresh in a city neither of us had been to before, but that we quickly fell in love with. Berlin is still home, and we're still happy here.
What I hadn't expected was that with our return to Germany, all my old beliefs came rushing back.
Did I really have what it takes to build a successful business? (Never mind that I had done just that in Namibia).
Was I supposed to earn money doing something I love?
Why didn't I want to live my life like ‘normal people’ did?
Was I good enough?
Could I live with it if nobody ‘got’ me?
It reminded me so much of the quote by Ram Dass:
‘If you think you are enlightened, go spend a week at home.’
It took nearly 2 years of working through my stuff before my business finally took off again.
In hindsight, it was a great opportunity to clear old beliefs, developed over many lifetimes, and to go deeper with learning how to trust myself, and how to live my Calling, no matter what.
It was also a time of figuring out how to keep the faith when the money wasn't coming in, and nobody seemed interested in my work.
I had to become the person I decided I am, even if the circumstances seemed to tell a different story.
Taking my power back, and changing from someone who reacts to what is happening to someone who consciously creates the outcome she wants, has been the most freeing thing I have ever done!
This is why I made it my mission to help my fellow uplifters, creatives, wayshowers, blueprint changers and light workers to also find this freedom.
To take your power back, you need Magic & a Plan.
I can help with both.
There has never been anything wrong with you, and you have what it takes to fulfil your vision and to shine your light!
Go here if you’re interested in exploring this further.
You are meant to live your Calling and own your MAGIC!
For questions, interview requests, collaborations, or just to say 'Hi':