Tales of snow!

This morning at 5.30 I went out of the house, with my parka over my pajamas, to let Lucy do her thing. Quite a difference to having dogs in Namibia, all I did there was open the front door and they all walked themselves.

Btw, it was 5.30 because it's only the 6th day of the new year, so my resolutions are still going strong. After the walk I did yoga and then made a (greenish) smoothie before waking Eva. :-)

But anyway, back to stepping outside. Yesterday the sidewalk was full of the residue of New Year's fireworks, empty champagne bottles and discarded Christmas trees.

This morning it was a winter wonderland! All the mess covered in beautiful white snow, with big flakes silently coming down. It took Lucy ages to pee, cause every time she put her bum down, it sank into the snow :-).

After Eva left for school I made a (quick) attempt at working, and then Lucy and I were off to find some snowy nature.

What a beautiful blessing!

 

Here are some pics from our walk:

 

She must have eaten her weight in snow today :-)

 

The white area on the right is the Berlin - Spandau shipping channel. Not much shipping going on today...

 

She was determined that we are taking this stick home. I managed to drop it undetected after carrying it around for some time. She clearly is Eva's dog, who also always expects me to carryher stuff. And I'm clearly the same sucker :-)

 

Mirrors amongst the trees

 

The garden colony at the edge of the forest, all deserted now

 

Water and ice

 

Having fun :-)

 

Winter beauty

 

Close-up

 

And another close-up. No idea why she stuck her paw in front of the camera :-)

 

A chair (Forest nymphs? Santa Claus? Dog walkers respite?)

 

Making a new friend (who is much better equipped for this weather)

 

Time to go home before her stomach turns into an ice clump from all the snow she eats

 

Wishing you the most wonderful day!

 

Greetings from a different world

So much has happened since my last post in the 'Tales' section.

Eva and I left Namibia in June 2014, and are now living in Berlin. 

The house and the animals are still with Eva's dad, apart from the chickens, who now live on a farm. 

I have turned my healing and coaching business into an online venture, which is great fun as long as the technology works :-).

Eva is a real teenager (and taller than me, scary that!). After a tough couple of months she now has lots of friends in the International School she goes to, and is taking constant advantage of living in a world city. 

Which means that I hardly ever see her. But she is happy and good at school and hasn't dabbled much in the things parents of teenagers worry about (I think, I hope... No, of course she hasn't!).

We live in an apartment in a seedy part of town (game saloons, Turkish fast food and, strangely enough, tanning studios). It is old and has high ceilings and a balcony and really dirty wooden floors I was supposed to sand down on moving in but didn't. 

And we have another dog. Eva and I lasted 6 months without any animals. We didn't want to bring the Namibian ones here, they are all free-ranging and big cities are probably not their thing.

So enter Lucy, who is hardly ever called that. Instead she listens (or not) to Flederchen (my mum's name for her, referring to the German word for a bat, cause she has rather huge ears), Mausi (Eva's contribution) and Bobbakins (that's what I call her. No idea why. No idea what it means either).

Anyway, she is very sweet and very loving and always hungry, and gets me to go outside even if it's minus 12 degrees, like today.

Funny how we moved from close to the South Pole to what feels like the far North.

 

Here are some pics from our new world:

 

 My favorite Berlin tower, seen through the lid of a trash can

 

The day Lucy joined us. She looked like a cross between a rat and a Chihuahua, and I wasn't that excited about her. But seeing that she was Eva's birthday present (and subsequently her choice) I didn't say anything. And by now she has of course totally won me over!

 

In the new apartment, still with hardly any furniture (see my fabulous cardboard cupboard!). We left most of our stuff in Namibia and only took some suitcases with clothes. 

 

Her favorite summer spot, the balcony table. As we are on the second floor I fnd that rather nerve racking...

 

At a lake near Berlin (this was of course last summer, by now the lake is probably frozen solid)

 

Eva's room, after some foraging in the neighborhood second hand stores

 

Taking a bath used to be so relaxing. Now I have little missy here getting really worried that I drown. Or maybe she just doesn't like me out of cuddling range. In any case, the moment I get into the tub, she whines...

 

Trying to stare Eva awake

 

Nap time

 

Cool kids 

 

Living room, with a couch and a cup of tea. Some things don't change even if you change continents...

 

Summer fun!

 

Lovely tree in the neighboring park

 

Eva in the subway

 

Berlin impression

 

Can we pleeeeeease go for a walk now?

 

Potsdamer Platz with some Christmas lights

 

Mum and daughter, on a looooong train ride to visit my parents

 

Eva in our favorite coffee shop

 

Couch potatoe

 

Lots of love to you!

 
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The beauty of a rainy day

By this afternoon, I really had enough of my computer.

Doing most of my work via skype is fun, but it also means that I spend a lot of time behind the box.

So my daughter and I went to town.

 

Being in the rain is still a special occasion for us, in our desert we had around 340 days of sunshine a year.

 

 

 On the way to town

On the way to town

 Love the colors!

Love the colors!

 The library, one of my favorite places

The library, one of my favorite places

 Aalen's pedestrian zone

Aalen's pedestrian zone

 Flowers everywhere

Flowers everywhere

 I finally joined the 21st century and bought myself an i phone. Selfie heaven

I finally joined the 21st century and bought myself an i phone. Selfie heaven

Enjoying to be outside in so called 'bad' weather made it again so clear to me how everything in life is just a matter of perception. Nothing prevents any one of us from deciding to love the rain.

I do, and Eva and I had a great time (and really fluffy hair :-) ).

Other people decided to complain.

 

Today I did enjoy what I couldn't have changed anyway, but there were plenty of times when I did complain about something, and it was in general just as useful as being upset about the weather. All it achieved is that I (and everybody who has the misfortune of being around me) got into a bad mood.

 

Standing there in the rain in the nearly deserted city center I decided that it is time to stop sweating the small stuff for good.

 

The quickest way to do that is to find something, anything, to be grateful for.

 

Amongst others, right now I am grateful for my life, for my daughter, for the internet, for books, for the rain, and for you guys.

 

Have a beautiful day, until tomorrow

 

Lots of love

 

     

 

 

 

Ps: I have done a couple of skype healing sessions by now, and they work really well. So if you want to do a chakra balancing, please contact me through e-mail or the contact form.

Expectations

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Disclaimer: This blog post has been written shortly after my break-up. It is an example of being on the path. Today, I see things quite differently, and I hardly have expectations anymore.

 

After many many years of soul searching, meditation, yoga, workshops, healthy food, journaling and lots and lots of books on every esoteric topic imaginable, one little thing still trips me up.

 

Expectations.

Of myself, and also of others.

 

Particularly men. Most particularly my ex. We share a daughter, so there is no escaping. We also share a property, which often feels like complete lunacy.

 

And after 17 years I still have the same expectations of him I had a year into the relationship. To me, what I am expecting is nothing special or extraordinary, just ‘normal’ behavior. To him, it is not part of his world.

 

What so astonishes me (apart from the fact that another person can have such an obviously distorted view of life), is that I do not seem to be able to let go of these expectations.

 

And yet, I sit there every day in my work as a healer and coach, and tell people to let go. And I say it with conviction, because I know it is the right thing to do, and I can see clearly where they are standing in their own way.

 

I have been down all kind of pathways to explain my own behavior to myself. I dragged up everything from past life happenings to soul contracts, and yet I know that all this is just me hanging on.

 

And I am hanging on because I feel I am not being seen. And somehow, somewhere, being seen by somebody who can’t see me became strangely and scarily important.

 

Like who I am would become justified if only this one person realizes that who I am IS justified.

 

On an intellectual and on a spiritual level, I am very clear that who I am does not need any justification. But emotionally I am still stuck. Despite seeing what I am doing. Despite knowing (more or less) which childhood experiences are ‘responsible’. I have not been able to transform it yet.

 

And so I am living with it. Sometimes with more grace than other times.

Sometimes with a roaring anger, and sometimes with a quiet despair.

 

And every time I hop onto the roller coaster again, every time I realize I am getting angry or sad because he is not reacting in the way I am expecting, I sit with it afterwards and feel it as fully as possible.

Consciously suffering my emotions. Until they subside and I am still here. And I am fine. And then I forgive myself.

 

And one of these days I know that I will have set him free, and I will have set myself free.

And every day, I am expecting it to happen :-).

 

Lots of love

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P.S: How are you dealing with recurring expectations?

Make-over birthday party

This place feels pretty cobwebby and neglected. Nothing like a party to get it going again!

Yesterday was Evas birthday. She wanted a make-over party with a hairdresser, dressing up, and a visit to

the Skybar at the local Hilton hotel. She also wanted a limousine to take her there. At this, I drew the line :-).

But we had Margit cutting hair, and then I squeezed 7 girls into my small car and we went to the Hilton. They

have a glass elevator there. After riding up and down in it for six times the thing got stuck somewhere in the

middle. And then the lights went out. We sat there for about five minutes, frantically hitting the emergency bell.

Then the lights went on again and down we went.

Nothing like a good scare to make you feel alive! We danced down the street singing, and had a lot of fun.

Girls this age are just wonderful to be with!

Here some pics from yesterday (the party is still going on, at the moment everybody is outside playing ball

in pajamas and screaming loudly...):

Discussion:

 

Waiting in line:

 
 

This  much shorter:

 
 

Looking good:

 
 

Breakfast in bed:

 
 

 

Have a beautiful weekend!

 

Lots of love,

 
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